*face palm*

How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do people in Austrailia call the rest of the world 'Up Over'?
Does that screw driver actually belong to a guy named Philip?
Does 'Killing Time' damage eternity?
Why doesnt Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called 'lipstick' if your lips still move?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is the third had on a watch called 'the second hand'?
Why is Lemon Juice made with artificial flavor, but dish detergent is made with real lemons?
Are part time band leaders 'semi-conductors'?
Can you buy an entire Chess set at a Pawn Shop?
Daylight savings Time; why are they saving it, and where do they keep it?
Did Noah keep bee's in archives
Do jellyfish get gas if they eat jelly beans?
Do pilots take crash courses?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
How can there be 'self-help groups'?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you write Zero in roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a jogger ran at the speed of light, could he still hear his ipod?
Why do the signs that say slow children, have a picture of a running child?
Why do we sing 'take me out to the ball game' when we are already there?
Why is is called Chili if its HOT!! ??
If peanut butter cookies are made with peanut butter, what are girl scout cookies made with ?
(if olive oil is made with olives, what is baby oil made with??)
If you shouldnt drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you take and Oriental and spin him around a few times, does that make him Disoriented?
If Space is a Vacuum, who changes the bags?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Why do blind people wear sunglasses? should deaf people wear earmuffs??
If Barbie is soooo popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If cats and dogs didnt have fur, would we still keep them as pets?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called 'rush hour'?
If swimming is an excellent way to get fit, why are whales fat??
If white wine goes with fish, do you have white grapes with sushi?
If Tin Whistles are tin, what are Fog Horns?
Why do toasters even have a setting that burns the bread to a horrible crisp that no human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge but not the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn, but no one cares, why is there a song about him ?
If The Professor on Gilligans Island can make a coconut into a radio, why cant he fix a hole in a boat?
Can a Hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Why do people point at their wrists when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when asking for the bathroom?
If an Ambulance is on its way to help someone, and it runs someone over, does it have to stop to help them?
If Pringles are  "so good that once you pop, you cant stop" then why do they come with a resealable lid ?
What do you call a male ballerina?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
Can Blind people be dyslexic ? (when reading braille)
Why are Trix only for kids?
If Wile E. Coyote is rich enough to buy all that Acme crap, why didnt he just buy dinner?
What does Ok actually mean ?
Why do they call it 'fixed' if it doesnt work anymore? (on spaying animals)
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, what would you call it ?
Why do the drugstores make the sick walk to the back of the store for their prescriptions, but the healthy people can buy their cigarettes at the front ?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup ?
Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
(as an afterthough, did you just run through them to make sure??)
Did you ever notice that if you blow on a dog, he gets mad, but if you take him in the car, he puts his head out the window? whats up with that ???
Why is it called 'the bottom' when technically its in the middle of your body ?
What do the Chinese call their good plates?
Why is mineral water that has 'trickled down mountains for centuries' go out of date in the next year ?
If you tell someone they are being judgemetal, aren't you being judgmental?
Is the opposite of 'out of whack' 'in whack' ?

Dont you think...

1. Dont you think that having a 'smoking section' is kinda like having a pee-ing section in a pool
2. Dont you think I am in shape??? Round IS a shape.  I'm fat, but you are ugly (I can lose weight)
3. Put 6 locks on your door, but only lock three, that way, if someone tried to burgle you, they'd end up locking three.
4. Dont play stupid with me, I am better at it.
5. If idiots could fly, the world would be a freakin ariport
6. I am not a complete freak; some parts are missing
7. If at first you dont succeed, dont admit you were trying
8. Keep Smiling, even if you arent happy, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Can I

I know that we only just met, and I feel a little shy, and this might seem like an awkward question, but I havent had it in a long time, and I am remembering the way it goes in all hard, and gets all wet, and soft, I feel my tounge rolling it around, sucking and savoring the juices until there is nothing left.
This has been on my mind since you sat down beside me, and I was wondering, if it isnt too much to ask, might I have a piece of gum?

its been one week

I haven't found employment yet. it is really annoying. and I am not sure if I will be able to find a job, which sucks, because I don't know what there is out there for me to do, I don't have a degree - though I can do just about anything that is out there (ok, so I am not a certified electrician, but hey, I could figure it out!!!) and my insurance was taken away, so now I have to find health insurance, as I have asthma and need my medication...so if anyone knows of someone, or someplace is hiring, please let me know.

ch ch ch changes

Changes again, but this time it is I who am changed, I am tranformed, from an employee, to unemployed, from someone who does what she is told, no questions asked, to an independant thinker.
And it is exhilerating.
I am beggining a hunt for a job to sustain my life though, because without funds, I wont have a place to live, a car to drive, clothes to wear, or food to eat, but I think that God will take care of me, and even though I some times act like a pechulant child, I am learning, and growing.
So begins a 'new chapter'
Go me.

The Freedom of Speech

I don't like the fact that people dont listen. I dont think that a certain person, that for this blog post I will refer to as she-who-is-not-the-boss-of-me.
This morning, I was told that I had violated company policy, and I had made 'potentially slanderous remarks' about my co-worker, and opened up the company to all kinds of legal issues.
First of all, the person the remark is about, doesnt possess one iota of the knowledge/skill required to assemble, and maintain a social networking site.  I am thinking that perhaps this person may have a personal e-mail account, but due to astute observation and my ability to perceive clearly the world around me, I highly doubt that said person possesses the mental acuity needed to perform this basic  task.
(I have serious doubt in their ability to see/read-what is right in front of their face)
So, that being said, unless I walk up to this person, and PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE. I highly doubt they will pick up on the fact that I HATE them, and cannot stand to be in the same space as they occupy.
But this option might actually get me noticed by upper management, so I attempted to circumvent this by posting an inane comment describing said co-workers mental acuity - I used the word 'moron' however, and I think that is par of where I went wrong, another employee was looking at the comment, and made another, to which I eluded to the fact it was someone in a specific department, and I even mentioned my place of employment. I am still trying to figure out how certain people know these things and then I realized, they probably have someone looking at Facebook every day, because it is OK to use the internet as a tool to BENEFIT the company, but if someone says something negative, well, then, THEY MUST WALK THE PLANK.
I was sited for violation of policy, and I had to sign some stupid piece of paper.  Fine, they think  I am creating a 'hostile' work environment, they aint seen nuthin; yet.
I have decided not to speak to the person(s) involved. I am going to go out of my way NOT TO BE HELPFUL OR PRODUCTIVE. FUCK YOU ALL **** <-- not allowed to tell you where I work, cause that would be 'slanderous' and I dont want to get fired for exercising my freedom of speech, while in my own home, on my own time, and on my personal computer/blog
F-You Human Resources, congratulations on the successful transfer of a TROLL to do the job that a monkey could do (and the monkey would do it without complaining so much)
You all SUCK

Sometimes Life Sucks.

Thinking back on this week, with it’s trials and tribulations, and my attitude thusly, I am appalled.

I didn’t handle the perceived violation of my sanctuary, meaning the outpouring of tepid, stinking, murky water, that also placed me in danger of electrocution, or fire…
I was very angry, and quite unhappy, but it didn’t seem to penetrate the perception of our landlord, who apologized for the circumstance, but made no effort to console, or assuage my fears of reoccurrence, and left me with no knowledge(or assurance) that the situation would be rectified.   
And then, after I contacted him and quizzed him on the repairs, he assured me that the problem had been ‘taken care of’ and he would return my call with verification.
But he did not. And then, the light fixture came loose and removed from my ceiling, thankfully, I was there to prevent more of my property from being damaged.
And I am now assured that the situation will be rectified by Monday (January 10^th )
I am in doubt about the sincerity of this proclamation, and wish that both men be decapitated, it would improve their condition considerably.  (yeah, they obviously have no need for such a useless appendage and might actually improve with its removal)

And now, that I have had a refreshing Spirit-lift, I am feeling a little better, as the situation could have been much more unpleasant, and a whole hell of a lot more expensive.
I am going to try and see this as a growing moment, and I am going to try very hard to not blame those who are decidedly faulted human beings. (they are to be henceforth referred to as a part of the human anatomy that is quite derogatory, and unpleasant!!!)

something I realized:
I am a meddler.
I meddle.

A.D.D. MOMENT - I ordered this ring, it looks a little different in person, the froggy isnt as 'smooth'  -  but if you are looking for something mildly ostentatious for your next cocktail party, then this ring is just the thing !!
http://www.lucidnewyork.com/  the ring is available in size 5,6, 7, & 8
I ordered it, and though they say 7-10 days, I recieved mine within 4 days :)
Two Thumbs Up.

Ok, back to the meddling, as stated previously, I am aware of my meddling tendancies.
Sometimes it is good meddling, sometimes it is bad meddling.
If I was a short, elderly, Jewish lady, it would be endearing, unfortunatly, I'm a single woman in my late 20's who pays more than moderate attention to what goes on around her and asks pesty questions!
I have a compulsion to make people happy, and it delights me. I pursue it with a tenacity and determintion, bordering on obsession.